take my hand

pocketshifting @ 2007-12-05T22:12:00

2007-12-06T03:14:30Z

inside the whirlwind gust
that which palpitates in mine bust
skips a beat from time to time
a schism between his heart and mine

hello world, i am back
& oh, what a year it has been...

pocketshifting @ 2006-11-05T09:00:00

2006-11-05T14:00:16Z

well, i love this journal -- so i'm keeping it.
but i'm moving over to xanga, again.
ciao, bella!

i still don't have a computer

2006-09-06T22:37:12Z

today i had the most delightful urge
to dangle my feet from the top of a tree branch.

this was the bittersweet lovely party of my day:
http://www.thememoryproject.org/

pocketshifting @ 2006-09-03T11:41:00

2006-09-03T15:44:11Z

by the way, i still don't have a computer -- who knows when i will have one.
i just know that my AIM account better not "expire" annnnnd yeah, life's good =)

pocketshifting @ 2006-09-03T10:55:00

2006-09-03T15:20:20Z

MY TOP FIVE COLLEGES TO APPLY TO.

things that are important to me include the greatness of education as well as what the college has to offer in the things i'm interested in, open-minded people, history, places to go & see for a busy life off campus, plus i like to be around people with a passion for something, people who just live to live and let live. i love people. i also want to be able to go to a park or field of grass and read under a tree. and freeee tuition which is why most of these are in California.

colleges people have suggested to me,
but i'm NOT interested in
1. University of North Carolina, Wilmington
2. University of North Carolina, Charlotte
3. Appalachian State University
4. East Carolina University
5. Brown University

1. UNCW = why? i honestly don't want to be that close to jacksonville. and i really actually want more of a change in more outside horizons than to go to wilmington. college is about experience right? & i'm looking for bigger more out-of-my-comfort-zone things.

2. UNCC = why? that's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too huge of a city life for me. i said i like busy & culture & open minded ness &such, however, there isn't enough nature around there! i will give that place credit for having a lot of culture & diversity, but it really just is not my cup of tea.

3. APPSTATE = why? okay, plenty of people have been trying to poke me in the direction of wanting to go there. i think it is a wonderful outdoorsy-area with lots of nature & wilderness, & mountains, & plenty to sit back, relax, and enjoy. however, boone just isn't my cup of tea. its population consists of 94% white people, the campus itself out of 12000 students has about 11000 white people as well -- and i'm just looking for a little more culture and a little more diversity, i'm not the high country type of girl. yes there are lots of activists there which i really dig, and lots of down to earth people -- but i really need somewhere with a little more high-energy -- a place where i don't have to drive too far to watch a broadway musical, or go to a show, or a concert. i need art galleries, and poetry readings, different types of food, different types of people, worldly life, and culture, damnit!

4. ECU = why? i have heard nothing good come from anyone about ecu, & some people i've talked to who go there or have gone there, tell me it's not all they thought it was cracked up to be. unless you are part of a sports med, pre med, or anywhere medicinal or doctoral -- which i am not interested in any of those fields -- no thanks =)

5. BROWN = why? greaaaaaat school -- it's even IVY LEAGUE. but hello? rhode island? wtf am i going to do there?

&NOWWWWWWWWWW....
my top five
1. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY!!!!!!
2. University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
3. University of California, Irvine
4. University of California, Los Angeles
5. University of California, San Diego

1. CAL = pros: free tuitition, atomosphere, chic restaurants full of 20 somethings, art district, culture, open minded people, ethnically diverse, wide parks, la vie bo heme, freelance acting, underground venues, musssssiccccc, cafes, shows & theater to watch musicalssss and concerts, art galleries, a place with history, activists, enough feng shui & culture around with an eclectic mix of city & nature. cons: away from my wonderful mother, away from majority of my friends & loved ones, 100% fresh start not knowing anyonneeee around at all.

2. UNC = pros: metro, JAMBA JUICE, city life, great school, close to BTI, downtown durham, and all that jazz, great English program, close to home, but far away enough to live on my own, is actually a lot better than some of the schools that are a part of the university of california system. it's really one of the only colleges in north carolina i dig. cons: would have to struggle getting scholarships, and payment, financial aid and stuff, plus i'd be limiting my horizons to staying in north carolina

3. UCI = pros: free tuition, orange county which is where i grew up, hills, greeeeeen palm trees, & mom would live in california again if i went here. plussss UCI is a wonderffffuuull school. cons: it's not berkeley. =(

4. UCLA = pros: free tuition, great school, music, open minded people, places to see & go. cons: wayyy too much pollution, too many buildings, not enough trees, ugly air.

5. UCSD = pros: free tuition, close to family, great area, good school, enough to offer. cons: is still not berkeley =(

OKAY SO I'M SET.
now i know what i want,
now i know what to strive for.

but for now, i'm 16, & living it uppppp. =)

crashed

2006-08-26T22:33:59Z

i'm borrowing a friend's laptop as of right now.
i have oodles of photographs of summer '06.
i deleted my myspace account on its 2yr anniv. :)
our home desktop computer crashed sometime in july.
which doesn't help considering school has already started,
howeverrrr i'm feeling great & there's a plate full of fries waiting for me in the kitchen.
who knows when i'll be updating this lj -- whenever our computer is fixed i suppose.

you know who i'm talking to

2006-07-08T03:27:36Z

i am sixteen years old.
i am very happy.
and i am more immature than you are.

get over it.

potc

2006-07-07T13:10:08Z

DEAD MAN'S CHEST LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING.
the music score was 321654times better than curse of the black pearl, too.
however curse of the black pearl has & always will be my favorite.
I LOVE HOW BOTH THE FILMS HAVE HINTS OF THE RIDE HERE & THERE.
going to watch it a second time this afternoon.

pocketshifting @ 2006-07-06T10:46:00

2006-07-06T14:46:43Z

thanks for waking up America, North Korea.

italian

2006-07-05T14:00:27Z

chapped lips, morning breath, an old world globe, left over spaghetti.
i actually awoke before noon.

that piece is a heavy portion of the song; this song is a bitch to sing.
the sforzando grace notes in the middle of words are the most difficult.
however, it is a very beautiful mezzo-soprano piece.
i've been working on it whenever i have free time.

i really love my olympus sp310 (i never have to edit/retouch my photographs anymore!)

reality

2006-07-05T13:23:27Z

in between
the spaces
of dirt
and air
i found
my carrots
digging deeper
into the
soil

for they
are roots
tap. tap.
growing and
developing into
triangular orange
edible edible
food

asldfjaslkjfd

2006-07-03T15:13:11Z

i was looking up Patience and Prudence lyrics,
when i couldn't find the Lilac Tree ones,
i decided to look for anything close to it on google.

*PLEASE CLICK FOR LARGER VERSION
(&then enlarge it when it opens up)

anyway, i thought it was the cutest thing ever,
& i've decided to make my own version of the drawing
& use construction paper to put it on my wall
& handwrite the lyrics onto graph paper and mount it

woooo project!
yesterday i finished cutting out my birds that i really liked from this, except i made them smaller so that i could utilize my wallspace for everything else.

& that's about all the inspiration i've gotten.
everything else i'm doing is on sketches i drew on random sheets of paper whenever an idea sparked up.

CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I'M FINALLY MOVED IN.

three day weekend

2006-05-29T10:48:30Z

these loving hills block swift passages of seventy five mile per hour winds. coming from the east, the opposite side renders no damaging effects. these loving hills form barriers that prevent the whirling notion from leaving us to shreds. continue the blow, erosion will not happen with these loving winds, these loving winds.

[YOU MAY SKIP OVER THIS TEXT PART; THIS IS JUST DOCUMENTED MEMORIES FOR ME]
the past thirty six hours have been pretty amazing. it all started with a grudge of not wanting to anything pertaining to the circulatory system. tri-m clean up around the school lead to tri-m potluck which lead to staying in the band room for 2+ hours enjoying sophie & sanchez jamming on their flute & alto sax, having a grand old time, &then looking out through the windows understanding that a storm was about to devour us, getting ~~fake~~ scared at lightning and thunder and being locked inside the school, looking out of the door waiting for some calm-time to run to sanchez's car. running to sanchez's car &making our way to my house. sanchez taking a spontaneous nap while sophie &i engaging in a lovely conversation making the room a procrastination station, roberto arriving, group cilia! antics, group cilia! sleepover, waking up at noon &continuing to devour the circulatory system.

mum & i had a da vinci code date. she's turning forty next month & i seriously cannot wait! it's going to be a blast & a half! afterwards, went to moirrrrrrra's house &to a walk allll over brynn marr barefooted and swinging in the park while lovingly gazing at moirrra's face =) [/END SKIP]

&then came sunday:

sanchez & i went on an adventurous date! days out with my best, are the best. we live it.

i'm pretty sure that anyone who has ever owned a digital camera has taken a picture of their sideview mirrors.

concentration station & card-eating machines!

i really love how our favorite japanese restaurants are closed on sundays. so logans made us fatties. i apologize for the bad quality.

narnia? photobucket wasn't supposed to resize these.

trace & jackie's shindig was a grand good time.
good fun, good people, good living.

unfortunately, i didn't have my camera on me at all times, & i didn't go to the salsa side, therefore i don't have everyone's photo, sorry!

&most of all...the sexies:

right click, and save as you wish. ♥
yay for group cilia tomorrow!

pocketshifting @ 2006-05-28T14:59:00

2006-05-28T19:00:48Z

i really love how my 7th/8th grade xanga name was T_TScarletTearT_T

liiiiife

2006-05-26T01:02:33Z

school is almost over.
i really have high expectations this weekend.
i got a 92 on a math test.
which is the first thing over a 70
i've received in that class.
i got invited to tour all the little
future freshmen scenexc0re 8th graders around
the school next week.
my mum surprised me with a new olympus digital cam.
it isn't an slr, but it's 321654 times better shutter speed
&quality than anything i've ever owned. i'm greatful!
philippines in 1.5 weeks!
<3

♥

2006-05-17T03:22:47Z

lahat ng mga problemas;
na paka mahirap sa nanay ko.
minsan, minsan, laging ginugustuan
ko mg kanta para ma gagaling siya.
mahal ko talaga yung nanay ko.

dragons

2006-05-14T13:09:26Z

we ponder the obstacles of many things
tape our problems at the edges of our wings

posted again

2006-05-13T17:39:24Z

hello world, my name is Flerine
i don't know everything.
i make mistakes.
you make mistakes.
&sometimes, i forget that IT HAPPENS.
i'm human.
you're human.
&sometimes i forget that WE ARE.

originality. immitation.
rebellion. persuasion.
nowadays they all run seamlessly together.
there's no idea sparked up
without flame rekindled from that spark.
(example = art)

i'm here in this world
brought upon with other things
to convey truth
& deceit; along with the joy that it brings
i'm a victim of falling into the bottomless pit
of capturing and documenting my ideas within.

yet when you take those ideas
&call them your own.
sometimes me forgetting that we make mistakes
sometimes me forgetting that we are human
takes its toll in my bones.

as a result
i rant and i blame
i throw fits of fury
to the point where i may even reveal your name

i am forgiving, i'm letting it go.
you've flattered me
in ways that i didn't know.
i'm here to say sorry
i'm here to be of one:
a rare breed to admit what they've done.
---

complain complain complain
that's all i do lately.
that's all i've been doing.
seriously.

i'm worried too much.
i'm spacing out too much.
i'm accusing too much.
i'm judging too much.
i'm pointing fingers too much.

too much I, too much me.
how are you?
are you free?

inspector's corsage

2006-05-07T04:55:50Z

in come & out goes the wonderful natural heatwave
of cornered, tapered lullabies
with interwining escapades of absolute delight

short date with the booface,
&then watching beauty & and the beast a second time,
my weekends are back!

floating on cloud nine these days. it's almost time for the beach.
my mum's aunt has been here for a visit for the past week.
it's reminding me of old stories back in the '60s with their band.
best summer ever = summer '04 right before freshman year.
traveling this summer - i'm hoping - will top that!

wayne brain

2006-05-04T22:55:11Z

i love it when i'm awaken by a knocking on the door
&i open it standing in front him.
he takes me by the hand and leads me to the middle of the sidewalk.
he tells me to close my eyes.
&then all of a sudden i hear our song coming from his car
and we're dancing
in the middle of the street.
thank you for today ♥

allergies weakening the senses

2006-05-03T23:25:44Z

honestly,
i have no clue what events led to the underside of my bed
turning into the dust bunny kingdom of doom.

♥

2006-05-02T21:54:41Z

last weekend was amazing.
this weekend should be even better.

i'm far too lazy to copy & paste photobucket links.
i'm going to miss doing the jitterbug scene.
sophie & i are going musical hopping around onslow this month.
tradition orginating from last year.
beauty and the beast with sanchez & sophie date this friday!
i can't wait. seriously. i'm stoked & thrilled.
jhs always owns every other highschool during this season.

i'm even more excited for this summer!

yo eee yo

2006-04-22T13:26:54Z

EVERYONE GO SEE THE WIZARD OF OZ
AT NORTHSIDE HIGH SCHOOL
THURSDAY, APRIL 27 - SATURDAY, APRIL 28
AUDITORIUM @ 7:00PM
come thursday, friday, or saturday!!

when you buy your tickets,
please let them know flerine invited you =]
the credits will help raise costume money,
thanks!!!

&please go see it! it's a production of a lot of hard work!

friends are forever

2006-04-19T22:05:42Z

!!!!RINE MACHINE!!!!
I hope you are okay and are resting at the moment. I wanna let you know that you are one of the most admirable people on Earth. No Joke. Oh, and although you are already have accepted the unacception to that school up North, you are going to do more than great in life. Girl, you don't give up, and even when time is crunching and you are not in the best of emotions you still give what you are doing all you got. You don't need some school acceptance letter to let you know that. Girl you have talent with your passion, and you end up being on the top of the class in your worst of subjects anyway. Acedemically you will succeed. That is confidence that comes with logic not luck. You're social skills and maturity are beyond any of that who are "popular" and you are uniquely your self and no one else. YOU ALWAYS MAKE EVERYONE LAUGH! Even when a situation is at its worst. The most random words flow out of your tiny little mouth That, in itself, makes your remarks much funnier. When you dance in the middle of class, scream with Sanchez, it always de-stresses everyone. You are the one and only Maria Flerine Crystal de la Cruz Atienza. You are the only one with your style, taste, mindset, passion, ect. You stick with your morals to the max and you never give up, (like you don't give up as an action, you may be discourage but you go on). Even through over exhaustion you wouldn't give up. My goodness, what is there that I have listed that will ruin your chances in life to exceed and succeed to the max. Your dreams will come true Flerine. You will strive to what you want to accomplish and you will make it. I can almost promise you that if you keep moving forward with who you are and what you have in mind for your goals that you will make it. Crystal, "Live today through the future's lense . . . " You are my best friend, my role model. You show me that whatever happens I can always keep breathing and recover after a blow. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I will always be here for you and right by your side no matter what. Reassurance is today, I am and always will watch out for you whenever I can.

Love you like my sister,Drea Beya

prevention means nothing for the present.

2006-04-15T18:20:22Z